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The pilot in this comedy series about Bob Patterson, "America's #3 best-selling self-help guru." In this episode, Bob looks at an infomercial he shot with guest John Tesh and is upset at how short he appears. Then, Bob's partner Landau reveals that his upcoming "relaunch" seminar in La Jolla is already sold out. However, Bob notes that he hasn't written any of his speech yet, suffering from writer's block ever since his wife Janet left him. Landau encourages Bob to hit on the comely water-delivery girl, Maria. Later, Bob meets his new assistant, the overly clumsy, wheelchair-bound Claudia. Then, Landau reveals that he is using Less to invigorate the seminar at La Jolla with some sort of gimmick. Bob thinks Landau feels he is washed-up, so Bob tries to show his worth by scoring a date with Maria, then resolves to reclaim his writing skills. Bob returns home that day to see Janet in his living room, claiming she has changed, regrets leaving him for another man, and is now celibate. Janet asks if she can stay with Bob for the time being. The next day, Bob reveals to Landau that Janet is back, and is killing his newfound creativity. Then, John Tesh arrives at the offices, revealing that he doesn't think he "nailed" his performance in the infomercial. Meanwhile, Maria shows off some nude photos she took while trying to get some modeling work. Later, Bob and the others notice that Claudia is standing, making them think they are being scammed and forcing Less to test her. Then, Janet arrives at the office, apologizing for her selfish behavior and saying that she'll move out. However, Bob asks Janet to stay with him, thinking she somehow inspires his writing. Then, at Bob's La Jolla seminar, he lays on a bed of nails to demonstrate a point. But while scoring well on his performance, his multi-punctured body lands him in the hospital. Includes commercials.


  • DATE: October 2, 2001 Tuesday 9:00 PM
  • RUNNING TIME: 0:29:58
  • COLOR/B&W: Color
  • CATALOG ID: T:67798
  • GENRE: Comedy
  • SERIES RUN: ABC - TV series, 2001
    • TV - Commercials - "Corky Romano" motion picture
    • TV - Commercials - "Don't Say a Word" motion picture
    • TV - Commercials - "Serendipity" motion picture
    • TV - Commercials - American Foundation for the Blind
    • TV - Commercials - Applebee's restaurants
    • TV - Commercials - Employee Support of the Guard and Reserve organization
    • TV - Commercials - Ford automobiles
    • TV - Commercials - Fuji film
    • TV - Commercials - KFC restaurants
    • TV - Commercials - Mitsubishi automobiles
    • TV - Commercials - Nissan automobiles
    • TV - Commercials - Sonicare toothbrushes
    • TV - Commercials - Verizon calling plans
    • TV - Commercials - Viagra erectile dysfunction medication
    • TV - Promos - "According to Jim"
    • TV - Promos - "Good Will Hunting"
    • TV - Promos - "My Wife & Kids"
    • TV - Promos - "Philly"
    • TV - Promos - "Spin City"
    • TV - Promos - "The Drew Carey Show"
    • TV - Promos - "Thieves"


  • Peter Tilden … Executive Producer, Created by, Writer
  • Jason Alexander … Executive Producer, Created by, Writer
  • Ira Steven Behr … Executive Producer, Writer
  • Tim Doyle … Executive Producer, Writer
  • Franco E. Bario … Producer
  • Jenny Birchfield-Eick … Co-Producer
  • Michael Jackman … Co-Producer
  • Matthew Conner … Associate Producer
  • Barnet Kellman … Director
  • Michael Markowitz … Created by, Writer
  • Michael Skloff … Music by
  • Giorgio Bertuccelli … Music by
  • Jason Alexander … Cast, Bob Patterson
  • Robert Klein … Cast, Landau
  • Jennifer Aspen … Cast, Janet Patterson
  • Chandra Wilson … Cast, Claudia
  • Jay Paulson … Cast, Less
  • John Tesh … Cast, Himself
  • Alex Meneses … Cast, Maria
  • Brian George … Cast, Hashlesh
  • Connie Selleca … Cast, Herself
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